The Fight

Justice is the brightest moon in the blackest night, and because of the darkness that was riled around him, it only made him shine brighter in the midnight sky. Justice was a Rockstar and modern-day outlaw with a fire that burned the fastest, you are loved by so many and will be missed immensely.

Justice was diagnosed with major depression after a life changing event at the age of 13 years old. Like many at this age he discovered his first childhood love and he fell very deeply. Justice was on top of the world, it was not surprising to us, finding this emotion at such a young age because even at a very early age he had so much empathy for others. Justice was a beautiful human being that cared so much and simply expected a degree of reciprocity. Like many, that first love was broken which became the catalyst that negatively affected how he would feel, the way he would think and how he would act.

Justice’s trajectory changed forever one afternoon at school. The school divisions social worker called and asked that we immediately come to the school to meet and discuss a serious incident that Justice had been involved in. The social worker stated that “Justice is okay” but we needed to discuss the events that transpired and ensure his safety.

Justice attempted to seriously harm himself that afternoon during the lunch hour. Justice walked into the path of a moving vehicle with the intention to end his pain.          

We sought professional help immediately and went to the Mental Health Crisis Response unit at the emergency department hospital. Justice was an adolescent and accessing the mental health service system, he was overwhelmed and distraught even with an abundance of supports at his avail. The transition from an innocent child surrounded by numerous professionals probing his every thought and word. It’s okay, everything is going to be alright, you just need to talk about your feelings and what’s wrong. What Justice was going through could affect anyone, even a person who appears to live in a relatively ideal world.

Justice received short term clinical treatment, support services and a plan with linkages and referrals to appropriate services and supports. We utilized these services and supports together as a family, and we were all committed to getting our baby Jus everything he needed.  

Justice was referred to a psychiatrist for treatment and we were given hope, depression is treatable and eventually he was responding well to treatment. Justice had many dark days as he grappled with the drastic changes in life, he home schooled for months, then started attending classes at a new school with optimism. The Psychotherapy, or “talk therapy,” along with antidepressant medications was effective and the cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)  allowed him the ability to problem solve in the present. Justice was able to recognize the distorted/negative thinking and change thoughts and behaviors to challenges in a positive way. The way the psychiatrist described it, “imagine having trouble seeing and I give you a pair of eyeglasses and you can suddenly see clearly” it changes your view of life. Justice was winning this battle and was overpowering the negative symptoms of depression.     

A few years had gone by with revitalized precision and optimism, Justice was in his late-teens and the strategies to manage challenges in a positive way was working and required less frequent sessions with the psychiatrist. Life events continued and depression doggedly fought back every step, both Justice and depression were persistent, each had won and lost battles through this 10-year war.  

I listen to Justice singing a song he wrote “I’m sorry”... I can’t help but think…I’m sorry, we wish we could’ve fought that last battle for you Justice. We are extremely proud of the person he became and his legacy.